I was riddled with intrusive thoughts. 

      Thoughts about social interactions I'd had in the past, interactions that may or may not happen in the future and even interactions that would never even happen at all. 

      These intrusive thoughts would affect my body and behaviour and, ultimately, affect and control my life. 

      I was stuck - paralysed. 

      At 16 I dropped out of college as I couldn’t handle meeting all the groups of people and teachers in my new classes, so I simply quit. I did not get my A-Levels that were well within my ability. I missed out on any possible life-expanding experience at university and I basically stopped learning until my mid-thirties when my journey of self discovery began. 

      Eventually, I broke up with my long term partner - and I don’t blame her. I was using distractions from my anxiety daily, I didn’t have any ambition, didn’t have any drive; I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. I wasn't going anywhere in life. I felt lost and alone, like I was adrift in life.  

      My only desire was to avoid social interactions and to distract myself from negative thoughts and uncomfortable emotions. 

      But most of all, I was not a role model to my two young children which made me feel guilty and ashamed of myself - but I felt trapped and out of my control.

      Anxiety controlled me and my life. 

      I actively avoided people, cancelled important appointments and pretended I was busy rather than see anyone. 

      At work, I ate my lunch in the car rather than face the busy, stressful cafeteria - and doing so made me feel inadequate and strange. 

      I got intense fear in my belly when asked a question on a work conference call and tried to 

stay out of the limelight as much as possible. This led to a very stagnant and unsatisfactory career (if you can even call it that.) 

 

      I stuck to ‘safe’ friends while out, avoiding speaking to strangers or anyone outside of the group as I found this far too overwhelming. 

      Crowds made me feel like I was being watched or judged, even just for what I was wearing or the way I was walking. Sometimes I was so focussed on how I walked that I would actually start to walk in a strange, robotic way that I had no control over.  

      This year we visited Disneyland where it was really busy at times, but I felt no underlying sensations of anxiety due to the crowds. 

      The thought that I was being watched didn’t even cross my mind now that I have healed from anxiety and taken back control over my nervous system. 

      I was able to relax into the moment and enjoy my surroundings, calmly and confidently speak to the receptionist at the hotel (without rehearsing over and over again in the queue what I was going to say) and enjoy the rides without any sense of dread or anxiety from the amount of people I had to deal with. It was the perfect weekend. 

      I move forwards and take risks based on my goals and desires, rather than staying stuck and hiding as a result of my anxiety. 

      In 2018 I opened a yoga studio with a business partner and led 15 classes per week - sometimes with  up to 25 people at a time. 

      It was hard work, it was tiring - but it was incredible to take these risks; living my purpose and helping people by sharing yoga and meditation practices to release their stress and anxiety so that they too can move forwards in their own lives. 

After living with social anxiety all my life,  I hit my mid-thirties and I suddenly decided something had to change.  

     During what he calls a kind of ‘awakening’ back in 2012 when he was 35 years old, James looked around his office and truly questioned what everyone else seemed to have that he didn’t. 

     They could speak loudly and confidently to one another without a care in the world, or pick up the phone without hesitation and even stand in front of a group of people in a meeting without going red or shaking or losing their train of thought. What was this super power they all had that he didn’t? 

     When James finally plucked up the courage to go to the GP for advice, he would hear the term ‘social anxiety’ for the first time - whereas before, his teachers and family had always used the term shy or even laid back, even though none of these ever actually felt right. Would someone laid back really feel their words stick in their throat or a sense of dread before going to see a friend standing in a group? 

     And although the doctor that day did not have all the answers, this didn’t stop James from going on a healing journey of many years; a journey of self discovery and of growth, and created a life far beyond he could have ever have imagined. 

      Yes, James healed from daily, chronic social anxiety and intrusive thoughts; but it was the life beyond social anxiety that was the most eye opening and most beautiful discovery in this process. 

     James now makes it his MISSION in life to put this information in the hands of EVERYONE who is in his old shoes, anyone who suffers daily from social anxiety, and give them this information condensed into a simple framework using the system he personally used to rediscover their true selves and find a life of growth, confidence and freedom on the other side. 

     When he’s not working on his business, practising yoga or meditating, James could be found walking his two dogs with his partner Alice, in his garage gym listening to Drum & Bass where he’s still trying to hit that 100kg squat (one day!) or he’ll be watching something either Star Wars or Marvel related with his teenage kids.   

     Above all, James believes that he didn’t just overcome social anxiety for himself - but also for those around him. To be of service and of use to society, both locally and globally. To be an emotionally strong and confident role model to his children and to be the most present and grounded partner he can possibly be for his wife.